MY JOURNEY OUT OF MORMONISM
Dear listener I would that ye should understand that I hold no ill will towards the Mormons nor towards any church. I would that ye should also understand that despite me having left the mormon church I have not gone forth as so many do in rejecting there doctrines and teachings rather the spirit. If you have listened to my video A Bible Odyssey then you know concerning my religious or rather Islamic atheists beliefs already. Wherefore before I begin I would that ye should understand that everything I say is true to the best of my recollection. I do not embellish nor hyperbalize the truth. With all that In mind let us begin. I was born into this the church of the Mormons whom now go by the church of Jesue Christ of Latter day saints. I was how shall I say a most dedicated member of said religion. At one point in life I would walk a half an hour alone to get to church and would even go an half an hour just to feel the spirit. During my teenage years I would attend every meeting I could. For me it was far more then just some simple religion it was my life. Ever since I was a child I've always had two main desires to be immortal and to see God in this world. Thus I would pray off that I might obtain such. The scriptures were my fun and joy they still are. I've always been one to want to know the truth. Thus I would ask many questions about the scriptures. My childhood days consented of friends video games and taking long walks around the neighborhood to ponder the mysteries of the heavens. It was my joy my all. As you can imagine asking to many questions got me into trouble. Sadly it took me a while to learn to hold my tough. To know when to speak and when not to speak. Wherefore i do admit that sometimes the fault was mine. For truly I would ask things at the wrong times. I was also rather proud of my knowledge I must admit that I enjoyed making my teachers look like fools. Yet in the end the true fool was me all along. Puffing myself up and holding my head high. In other words pride. Ever since I was young God had always told me that if I ever became prideful with the knowledge I had received and thought of myself that I was wise, that he would take away that knowledge as fast as he took the kingdom of Babalon from king Nebaknizar. This he would prove throughout my life again and again. And oh how blessed I am for such. Now then one of my biggest desires in my youth was to serve an LDS mission. I was the youngest person in my ward to attend the mission preparation class starting I believe at 15 or 16. Eventually I would be called on said mission. It was there when everything began to change. I would that ye should know that it was at that point I started to see the great hypocrisy of church members. I shall not go into depth concerning it. I bring it up out of the change and maturity it brought about in my psyche.
My mission had its ups and downs nevertheless things were going well with my beliefs and dedication. That is until a new president took charge of the church. When I laid eyes on the man who's name I shall not name but is the current head of the church. My spirit spake unto me saying he is not a prophet. This was a most difficult Revelation. For it was my job to preach that our church had a living prophet. I didn't know what to do. Everyone around me bore testimony that they know he was a prophet. I thought there must be something wrong with me. So I prayed much. Yet each time I did God said nay. I kept on and eventually out of a desire for it to be true convinced myself of such. I would meet and individual whom had left the church who were have quite the affect on me. It was nothing he said or did. Yet after meeting him I would often ask myself if I found out the church wasnt true would I have the strength to leave? After which I would assure myself that it didnt matter for the church was true. Surely God would never ask me to leave. Surely not I would assure myself. Finally the day came when I would return home. Returning home after two years from what was supposed to be in Mormonism the best years of my life. Every one assumed my belief in the church would be that much stronger. So I did my best to act as though I was still in good faith by also not saying things I didn't believe. My words were specific. I'm uncertain how many actually noticed my decline or rather my specificness in wording. Despite this I carried on great doubts kept on. Nevertheless I still attended church and pretended as much as I could to be a faithful mormon. Many times I would think on what I know the thoughts always lingering in my mind concerning the path I'm on and if it was true. You see I was on the path to becoming a religious teacher for the church as my career I planned on marrying in the temple. Wherefore my fear was exceedingly great. Nevertheless after many moons my mind continued to be drawn to the question of if I'll do what God wants or what I want? A song that really helped me in the right direction was called Shining stars from an anime full metal alchemist. The lyrics went thus. What if we discovered that the things that we believed in all this time were wrong? Do you just pretend that the sin is fine and let it eat you up inside. End quote. Eventually after many moons of pondering and praying one day while inward watching God gave me the command to be like unto the prophet Lehi in the book of Mormon and leave behind that which I love the most even the church. This thing was the most grievous command I had ever received. Wherefore I greatly reflected on it. I wanted to believe it was over the devil i didn't want to believe it was of God. Nevertheless I know it was. In all honesty I believe the thing I most feared wasn't the fact that I was giving up what I dedicated my life to. Nay my greatest fear was my family specifically how my parents would feel. Wherefore I would that ye should know dear listener that going forth unto my father that day was the scariest experience of my life. Nevertheless I did. Once I had told him concerning the command he was most angry and disappointed. He told me how I had lost my faith and had become sinacul. He threatened to kick me out. After which in tears I went forth and prayed. He did as well. And God said that in time he would give my parents a witness that what I did was right. This prophecy has since been fulfilled. My father would apologize for his out burst. And thus the very next day i thought it was all over. I assumed once again that God was simply testing me and had no actual desire that I was to leave the church. Wherefore on that day while i was occupied with my job. God quoted unto me these 3 scriptures. He that putteth his hand to the plow looking back is not fit for the kingdom of God. We would rather follow God rather then man. He that puttheth father or mother before me is not of me. After these things I know without a doubt what I must do I had never been so sure of anything. Wherefore I went and got my records removed from what's now known as the church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints. Thus was my story. Know that it has been abridged but there are no lies therein. Thankyou for listening. May God guide us all to what's right.
My mission had its ups and downs nevertheless things were going well with my beliefs and dedication. That is until a new president took charge of the church. When I laid eyes on the man who's name I shall not name but is the current head of the church. My spirit spake unto me saying he is not a prophet. This was a most difficult Revelation. For it was my job to preach that our church had a living prophet. I didn't know what to do. Everyone around me bore testimony that they know he was a prophet. I thought there must be something wrong with me. So I prayed much. Yet each time I did God said nay. I kept on and eventually out of a desire for it to be true convinced myself of such. I would meet and individual whom had left the church who were have quite the affect on me. It was nothing he said or did. Yet after meeting him I would often ask myself if I found out the church wasnt true would I have the strength to leave? After which I would assure myself that it didnt matter for the church was true. Surely God would never ask me to leave. Surely not I would assure myself. Finally the day came when I would return home. Returning home after two years from what was supposed to be in Mormonism the best years of my life. Every one assumed my belief in the church would be that much stronger. So I did my best to act as though I was still in good faith by also not saying things I didn't believe. My words were specific. I'm uncertain how many actually noticed my decline or rather my specificness in wording. Despite this I carried on great doubts kept on. Nevertheless I still attended church and pretended as much as I could to be a faithful mormon. Many times I would think on what I know the thoughts always lingering in my mind concerning the path I'm on and if it was true. You see I was on the path to becoming a religious teacher for the church as my career I planned on marrying in the temple. Wherefore my fear was exceedingly great. Nevertheless after many moons my mind continued to be drawn to the question of if I'll do what God wants or what I want? A song that really helped me in the right direction was called Shining stars from an anime full metal alchemist. The lyrics went thus. What if we discovered that the things that we believed in all this time were wrong? Do you just pretend that the sin is fine and let it eat you up inside. End quote. Eventually after many moons of pondering and praying one day while inward watching God gave me the command to be like unto the prophet Lehi in the book of Mormon and leave behind that which I love the most even the church. This thing was the most grievous command I had ever received. Wherefore I greatly reflected on it. I wanted to believe it was over the devil i didn't want to believe it was of God. Nevertheless I know it was. In all honesty I believe the thing I most feared wasn't the fact that I was giving up what I dedicated my life to. Nay my greatest fear was my family specifically how my parents would feel. Wherefore I would that ye should know dear listener that going forth unto my father that day was the scariest experience of my life. Nevertheless I did. Once I had told him concerning the command he was most angry and disappointed. He told me how I had lost my faith and had become sinacul. He threatened to kick me out. After which in tears I went forth and prayed. He did as well. And God said that in time he would give my parents a witness that what I did was right. This prophecy has since been fulfilled. My father would apologize for his out burst. And thus the very next day i thought it was all over. I assumed once again that God was simply testing me and had no actual desire that I was to leave the church. Wherefore on that day while i was occupied with my job. God quoted unto me these 3 scriptures. He that putteth his hand to the plow looking back is not fit for the kingdom of God. We would rather follow God rather then man. He that puttheth father or mother before me is not of me. After these things I know without a doubt what I must do I had never been so sure of anything. Wherefore I went and got my records removed from what's now known as the church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints. Thus was my story. Know that it has been abridged but there are no lies therein. Thankyou for listening. May God guide us all to what's right.
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